stepping with confidence

Through years of coaching from my music professors, I've learned to walk on stage with confidence, purpose, and a welcoming smile. With a love for the drama and excitement of live performance, I would always wear a look that said, "I've got something really cool to share with you and I can't wait to see your reaction!"  But lately I've been envying that girl I once was, wishing I had that same confidence in other areas of my life; with my speech, with my opinions, and with the half-dozen guys I have my eye on (except that most are fictional characters). Most especially, I wish I had more confidence when I'm working at the BSO.

For me, confidence comes from knowledge. I was always able to walk on stage with confidence because I knew my music inside and out. But I'm still in the process of learning all the different policies, procedures, and standard practices at BSO's admin office. The perfectionist in me wants to acquire a thorough knowledge of every piece of relevant information before I act, and in this situation that's just not possible. I have to learn as I go and submit to the fact that things aren't always going to turn out the way I want them to.

I'm not sure how I will accomplish it, but I need to make a change in how I conduct myself in the workplace, because I feel that by allowing this passive demeanor to dominate my life, I do myself an injustice.

"What gives you confidence?" 

- Responses from actors & directors at the Toronto Film Festival -