my place in the PR suite

If you step into the Meyerhoff Hall at Cathedral & Biddle, grab the elevator and select the 2^nd floor, offer the aging elevator words of encouragement as it gradually creeps its way up the shaft, enter the rounding hallway through the maroon door, pass the wall plastered in florescent post-it notes, and pay a visit to the public relations suite, right there—inches from the door—there is my desk.  My desk at the offices of the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra. It’s not much. The desk itself is the size of a chessboard.  And I’m quite certain that the orange-upholstered chair is twice as old as me. But I’m hoping that this humble desk will usher me into the next phase of my career—that through this internship I will come a little closer to a paying job.

I went to office of the BSO for the first time this last Thursday.  There are 2 people in the public relations department, and 8 people total under the umbrella of Marketing/Public Relations. I was introduced to just about everyone, and did my best not to appear as awkward as I felt.  Thinking back on it, I wish that I had at least mentioned to these people how much I admire their work (sentiments that are of the utmost sincerity).  But there were a lot of thoughts going through my head; big, oppressive thoughts.

If I remember correctly, I only met one guy, all the rest were women. Successful, beautiful, confident, gainfully employed women. I couldn’t stop thinking, “How did they get to where they are?  How am I going to get what they have?  How am I going to get from unpaid intern to a full-time employee somewhere? How long’s it going to take?  Am I going to be happy when I get there? Is this really what I want?”

Heck yes, I want my hideous chair and pizza box table.

My Chair.